A Comedy of Errors

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"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Morrow
"Take care of the minutes, and the hours and years will take care of themselves." -Anonymous
"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." -F.P. Jones

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2004-05-12
my secret life as a german prostitute

08:42

So secret that not even I know about it. But maybe I looked like one, at least last night. Somehow, though, I don't really think so as I was wearing long pants, a jacket, and no make-up. Most likely it was because I was by myself, young, and female. The reason for this reflection (as I am sure you are wondering) is that last night, I was propositioned again. This time, however, it was by a v. drunk man about 60 years old or so and there was no proposal (at least for marraige, anyway). I think the most depressing thing about the whole situation is that he was nicely dressed and looked like someone's sweet little old grandfather who wouldn't hurt a fly. Amazing how appearances can be deceiving.

He did not start out sly like the Eyptian, who asked me innocuous questions before narrowing in for the kill. No, this guy started out by trying to catch my attention. Already on high alert from last week's incident, I was immediately put on my guard. From experience, strangers trying to catch your attention for no apparent good reason, such as you're about to be run over by a stampeding rhinocerous, generally want something. And not something good.

I didn't think he was waving at me as there were a lot of other people around, so I ignored him. This only brought him over. He was quite obviously drunk. Sometimes, not being able to speak a language, or at least pretending that you don't, is not a bad thing (I pulled that trick a couple of times in France in similar situations). So, instead of saying "I don't understand" in German, I decided to play that I didn't speak a single word, and said it in English. And that was all I said over and over. Unfortunately, it didn't get him to leave me alone. Fortunately, he didn't speak English.

He was fairly drunk, so I really didn't understand most of what he said, but I do know that the words "you", "me", "go to hotel room" were involved. I didn't particularly care to make the effort to understand more than that. Gah. He also kept touching me on the arm. I am a touchy person, I like to give hugs and stuff, but do not like random drunk 60-year-old guys touching me, and I kept trying to move away. After a seemingly interminable amount of time, my tram arrived. In actuality, it came pretty quickly, so despite the long retelling, the whole incident lasted only a couple of minutes. And I was never scared - there were plenty of people around, and he was drunk, so I wasn't in any actual danger. I was more torn between laughter and frustration than anything.

So I really do not know whether to laugh or cry. But I do know that when I get back to Houston, bring 'em on. Okay, so yeah, maybe not, but at least I will be prepared. They ain't nuthin' to the ones over here. I am getting better at fending off unwanted advances. I used to feel bad about hurting a guy's feelings, whether I should or not, but that is fading fast. By the time I get back, a creep will barely have a chance to say a word before I tell him to bugger off. I will also have to be sure to use one of the many insults that I've picked up from my UK friends ("you cheeky sod", for example). Go me!

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