2003-08-04
there's a tear in my beer | cuz i'm cryin' for ya dear

9:35 p.m.

Katie sent me this list of the Best of the Worst Country Music Song Titles. I thought that they were really funny, and decided that this is a great place to share them. John Denver, at a concert that I attended, made fun of himself because he wrote #3, and actually sang it. I have heard several others, but don't know the artists.

1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart

12) I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

13) I Wanna Whip Your Cow

14) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

15) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

16) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

17) I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

18) I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

19) I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

20) I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line

21) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

22) If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

23) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

24) If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

25) If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

26) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

27) My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

28) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

29) My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

30) My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

31) Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

32) Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

33) She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

34) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

35) She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

36) She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

37) Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

38) They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out

39) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

40) When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

41) You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

42) You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

43) You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

44) You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

45) You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Well, I have no updates on my France TO DO list, except that I think that I'm going to leave Tuesday instead of Monday. Jen and Gavin are gone this weekend, so we'll have Roxy and Zoya (their dogs) to take care of, and Becca and Sarah are leaving Sunday night for a conference in Austin. So, I think that I'll stick around one more day.

Also, my computer came today. Yay! It is soooooo cool. I love it. The world adapter set came, too, so Fred and I had fun setting up the computer and figuring out which outlet adapter goes with which country. Unfortunately, FedEx lost my Mac Office software. I called Apple and they said that they will run a trace and if they cannot find it, will ship me a new one. Becca, however, says that she will not send it to me in California if I'm already gone by the time that it arrives. Brat. =) Now, I just need a case for it (definitely) and a wireless mouse. Fred was very excited when I told him that it had Bluetooth, which I guess means that it can use a really cool mouse. He's the one that knows all of this stuff, and it's a good sign when he's excited. Oh, and my MP3/flash card/voice recorder/laser pointer came today. What a good day for deliveries! Everything came early, so hopefully my bridesmaid dress will, too. That's supposed to be in either late this week or early next week.

Oh, and speaking of bridesmaid dresses, if you're interested in seeing what mine looks like, here is my dress. The color is periwinkle with glacier blue. It's too bad that you can't see the back, because the skirt has a cute little train, and the ribbon on the top criss-crosses and has a little bow. Alison, Val's maid of honor, will be wearing the same top. The other three chose different ones, but we all have the same skirt.

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